I admit it. It's true. I am. I must be.
I've just sat down to watch the closing ceremony of the Olympics. The fireworks were nice - pretty even. Then the dancers came in, the drummers and the men riding large wheels. I lost it when that happened.
The commentators started talking symbolism. That's the usual point when I leave the room - and I'm not talking metaphorically - I actually leave. I have to. If I stay beyond that moment my natural sarcastic self has nothing stopping it surfacing and my family would probably kill me (and yes I mean this is figuratively).
It's like ballet and interpretive dance. My brain simply isn't wired that way. Abstract art I can do - and like greatly. Whacked out weirdo music also good. But choreography? Not for me.
Thankfully my family called me down to see the London bit. For eight minutes there was a presentation of what London will be like. And it had Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis playing "Whole Lotta Love".
I am so hopefull this is a sign of what London will be like. The Olympics are going to be in Britain - let's have a party. Let's have fun.
We're not going to match the organisation and spectacle of the Chinese ceremonies (I admit they were good even if I am not a fan of the format) so let's not try.
Britain has such an enormous diversity of music and culture. So rock music can go up against Bollywood, Bangra, Calypso, Reggae, Gospel, Welsh Choirs, Scottish Pipe Bands and on and on...
It could be good....